I have been offline for what seems like a very long time and for that I apologize. It has been a very peculiar few months for me. I ended up going out more and met some awesome people. One of them has developed into an important part of my life right now and hopefully he’ll stay for many more moons to come.

Yet, I became obsessive about going out and partying and did it so much that I started to lose myself. Now you may be asking yourselves why and then criticize me on how I’m probably not as happy in my relationship as I say. The honest truth it had nothing to do with him and everything to do with me becoming unhappy with myself.

After tax season it has been extremely difficult for a young person like myself to find another job. So with the money I had stashed, I began to drink away my thoughts of being a disappointment to my family and self. This lead to the guy I’ve been talking to, to tell me that I needed to stop doing this to myself and I had two options. Option one I could continue to self destruct and it lead to worse things later on and lose him out of my life. Before you say that that’s not fair, let me first say that he’s been down this road himself, but didn’t have anyone to help him out of it. The second option he offered was to stop doing this stupid shit and he would gladly help me and be by my side.

Now this was a wake up call because this man is extremely important to me and to know that he would leave made me sick. So I did what any person would do. I have cut down on drinking, especially the drinking that lead to blackouts and unattractive behavior. It’s a hard road but I have support from everyone around me and still have this awesome person in my life.

The thing I want people to realize is that someone can’t just change unless they want to. The fear of losing something or someone that you love is a wake up call that some people cannot ignore. But because of this snap back into reality I have made some lifestyle changes and have returned to my happy way of life. With this person by my side though I am actually happier, which I didn’t think was possible! Until next time friends. I will try to post a little more.